Depression/Anxiety/Stress

Lately I've heard many people talking about depression, anxiety or stress and it's horrible that so many people feel sad, stressed or anxious about things - especially young adults. I mean when you are a teenager/young adult you are meant to look forward to your future, your entire life that's in front of you. But it isn't like that for many people, they are worried about many things. For example, school or family problems, or anything for that matter. 

I for one feel as if school put too much pressure on us nowadays with university applications, that their subject is the most important, that we should be doing lots of activities inside of school, and activities out of school, we should have a job, revise a lot and aim for the highest grades while being a nice person, respecting everyone and also mantain a social life. How can we even do that? 

I am a slight bit of a stress head myself, it doesn't take much to set me off granted. But from school I've had panic attacks, breakdowns where my entire body has kind of stopped functioning out of stress and then random body pains from stress. This to me isn't normal, and I'm not the only one who has this. I have friends who have anxiety issues or depression from a build up of events. We as young adults shouldn't feel this, in a sense we shouldn't even being thinking of things like this. We should enjoy school, enjoy the subjects we study to an extent and be able to go out sometimes and have fun and not worry in the back of our heads every five minutes that there is some task we need to complete or else we will fall behind. 

I have one teacher who has helped me so much in the last year, one I didn't think I would ever really get on with as she hadn't ever taught me until last year or had I even really spoken to her. But honestly as far as stress has come she's sort of been my saviour. I recently had a very tough couple of days, I'd been ill from stress and then I missed some school and I felt so far behind, I then gave myself a panic attack and I started crying and for a while I couldn't stop. Luckily I have the best of friends who kept me away from people and took me to see her, she sat us down and spoke to me. Of course what she said I'd heard a million times before, but she said something that caught my ear 'Don't under estimate your own abilities. You are as good as you want to be, as good as you work'. It calmed me quickly, she was right I can be anything. I have to work for it yes, I will go through stress but I have people around me, many people who care and want to see me succeed. Then we went over different ways to keep on top of work, if you can't find all your tasks on a post it note you are doing too much. You can have one day where you don't do anything, I mean anything at all. Be calm (easier said than done I know) and take it one day at a time. 

I still have days where I'm overly stressed and I don't even know how to function, and days where I just want to give up but there is light at the end of the tunnel I know that now. I don't know if I've shared too much. Anyway, speak soon. 

More later xox 

Random, just a little update.

I haven't updated since my first blog as after my first blog I began to get more and more nervous for some reason, but I finally decided to update. Maybe it is my sleep deprived mind talking, my body clock is so random at the moment. I'm currently on my summer holidays, we have six weeks off for summer in the uk, we have only two weeks left now but I haven't been going to sleep until 4-5 in the morning and then waking around 11am, it's attrocious. Yet it's a horrible vicious circle. At the moment, it is a relatively normal time 11.00pm so I should sleep soon, but I'm sure what I'll do is log into tumblr and reblog pictures of Matt Smith and Doctor Who, and even gifs of Toby Turner into the night. 

So, I'm guessing I should just give you guys a little update on what's been going on. Well I had my As results last week, and I'm pretty happy with my grades but as I want to go to university, fingers crossed next year I need to work twice as hard this year in order to secure a place for myself. Although school has now come to the point where it is getting me down completely, even though I'm not there - I have two essays to write, a million books to read in order to be prepared for next year. I suppose as it's my last year in school I should also have fun and go out with friends, and have new experiences. Or I should make a mini last year in school bucket list. I'll think about that one. 

I've been reading more and more lately, for school mainly and I've come across a few brilliantly well written books and a few that have inspired me and allowed me to fall back in love with reading, maybe I'll do a blogpost on books. I'm a really big fan of reading, it's something that I spend quite a lot of time doing, so much so that when I was younger my parents, grandparents and family called me 'Matilda' for those of you who haven't read the book, or seen the film it is a book by Roald Dahl. It's a childhood favourite of mine, it's a simply wonderful book and I even now enjoy to read it as a teenager. I remember being younger and adoring Roald Dahl books, it was a treat when someone read a Dahl book to me.  

More later oxo 

Here it goes.

Right, well here it goes.

I've been wanting to write a blog for a while now, as I have very little time with education, family, friends and so on, I am yet to. So I thought the holidays would be a perfect time to begin. I've been hesitate to write a blog for many reasons, such as people not exactly enjoying what I'm writing or in particular not caring what I have to say, but I've decided to attempt to ignore that and have a little confidence in myself and simply... write.

When I was younger I'd imagine up life scenarios where I was someone famous, or an astronaut or a ballerina and so on, where I was enjoying my time and using my imagination, my imagination has grown with time but I feel I have no where to apply it to, no place to write and simply let my imagination and thoughts run free. I hope a blog will allow me to write, talk about my thoughts (most unanswerable questions, of course), my memories, give advice (if I possibly can) and fulfil my need to be heard.

I'm currently at a time in my life where I am deciding on my future, and truth be told I am so unaware of what I want to do - career wise. I'm aware I want to travel, see the world, fall in love, have a family but how I do this without a career, without money is another story all together. So I'm basically a confused teenager! It's scary going out into the 'big, bad world' as my mother calls it. Maybe I'm hoping this blog will help me, give me courage and confidence.

Hopefully you didn't feel I wasted your time and you enjoyed reading my brain crazily work, as I rewrote this several time.

I'd love some feedback or something.

More later oxo